”I squeezed her shoulder again and whispered, “That’s what I’m here for. You’ve been there for me. You don’t have to thank me.”The loudspeakers boomed, “Gentlemen, start your engines.”The crowd roared as the cars rattled the glass windows of the box. We took our seats looking down from high above the track.The pace car led the racers around the track. The checkered flag waved the start of the race. The cars roared past over and over again. I could tell she was enjoying herself.About twenty laps. It would only be used as a final method to end my life. I would surely suffer great agony and pain prior to the finish. I also found a design for a gallows type beam structure for a slow hang. My final choice for the ending was a contraption of my own dark mind. It would have a double barrel sawed off shotgun enclosed in a headrest at the back of a comfortable chair. I would control the triggers with a lever. The placement of the back of my head against the barrels would be such that my head. I lay my right hand over your heart and my thumb draws circles against the flesh of your right breast, occasionally brushing against the taught nipple. I feel your heart thumping away in your chest and I bring my other hand to your sternum. I watch as your hands reach up to clasp mine from behind and spread them apart to place them ceremoniously over your breasts. I clasp your chest tightly and you gasp deeply, arching your back and pushing your breasts far out from your chest. Your hips begin. However, because it was a 10 floor building, I also knew that if they would use the stairs, they probably would live on the first or second floor, most people would use the elevator when they had to go to a higher floor. Well, I was counting on the laziness of the people for this.I checked out the lobby, and I noticed that the doorbells and mailboxes were there. That's when I decided to see if I could find Patrick's family name on it, maybe giving me an easy way to find where I had to go..
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